Not Just Any Love, A Good Love

A lesson in asking better, loving wiser, and choosing with clarity.

We all want love, but not everyone pauses to consider what kind of love they’re truly asking for.

This reflection is a powerful lesson in discernment, self-worth, and the difference between a love that looks good and a love that is good. If you’ve ever craved connection, only to end up with more confusion than care, this one’s for you.

Love.
That four-letter word with the power to lift us to euphoric heights or drop us to our knees in despair. We crave it. We romanticize it. We pray for it. But too often, we ask for a love, not a good love.

There was a time in my life when love felt like a finish line—something I needed to cross to feel complete. Tired of dating disappointments and connections that left me emotionally drained, I did what any heart-weary romantic might do: I pulled out a notebook and started crafting my “perfect partner.”

I’d read that visualizing your dream mate helps manifest them into your life. So I got specific. Painstakingly so. My list painted a picture of my ideal person: the right look, the right height, the perfect complexion. Eyes that pulled you in. A voice that could melt tension like butter on jazz night. Well-mannered. Stylish. Effortlessly cool.

I had my blueprint. And like clockwork, the universe delivered. Someone who checked every box. Every. Single. One. But there was one thing I didn’t ask for.

A good love.

The physical characteristics were there. But beneath the surface was a heart that didn’t know how to care for mine. My caring and giving nature was met with selfishness and narcissistic tendencies. Someone quick to take, slow to give. The love I thought I wanted came dressed in everything I asked for, except the qualities that truly mattered — integrity, stability, kindness, peace.

That relationship burned fast and bright, then burned out completely. And when the ashes settled, I sat with one truth: I had asked the universe for a fantasy, not a foundation.

Here’s the thing about love. Anyone can fall into it. But staying in love? Thriving in love? That takes something deeper. That takes good love. The kind that nourishes. That respects. That shows up without keeping score.

So if you’re putting your request out to the universe, be specific. But be sure to ask for a partner who is not just attractive but emotionally available. Not just charming but consistent. Not just sexy but safe. Ask for honesty. For empathy. For shared values and mutual elevation. Ask for a good heart wrapped in a good soul, not just good looks wrapped in empty promises. Ask for substance, not surface.

Because love, in its truest form, should be soft where life is hard. It should feel like exhaling after holding your breath for too long.

Next time you ask for love, ask for a good love. The kind that holds you in your strength and your struggle. That sees you fully and still says, “I choose you.” That’s the kind worth waiting for. That’s the kind worth asking for.

Love isn’t just about finding someone. It’s about recognizing what you deserve — peace, partnership, and presence. It’s not about checking boxes. It’s about building bonds that feel safe, seen, and soul-deep.

Whether love finds you today, tomorrow, or years from now, may it be the kind that adds to your life, not one that takes from it. Because real love, good love, isn’t perfect. But it’s honest. It’s kind. And it never asks you to shrink in order to fit.

Ask with clarity. Choose with wisdom. Receive only what’s good for your soul.

Until next time, allow nothing or no one to disturb your groove.

---